Beady Amanda: Gold Vermillion

It's still raining but I'm determined not to read any more T.S Eliot today.

Today would have been my father's birthday but instead of getting all depressed like I'm addicted to doing, I'm going to remember the good things.

Yeah, he was fucked up and basically committed suicide, but damn, while he was here he was full of love for my sister and I. It's taken me a long time to realize that just because he gave up on life, it doesn't mean he loved us any less.

He absolutely loved being a father. It's a testament to him that I can look back and see that.

So in honour of my dad, I give you a poem that would have made him laugh his ass off. My husband found this poem written on the stall of a pay-toilet in a shopping mall when he was a teenager.

It goes something like this...

Here I sit lonely-hearted,
Paid a dime and only farted.
Last time I took a chance,
Saved a dime and crapped my pants.

That one's for you Dad.

Love,
Amanda