Untouchable
That's what I feel like sometimes.
But in the old Indian caste sense of the word. Like a leper.
I am untouchable.
Why? Because I'm obese.
I watched Law and Order: SVU last night and the plot focussed around perceptions of obese people as being disgusting and like the new lepers of society.
That's what I feel like most of the time.
But you know what? It doesn't do me any good to start dwelling on how disgusting I feel. All it does is reinforce how negatively I treat myself. So fuck it! I'm going to fight those feelings no matter how hard it is. Some days I'll win the battle, some days I won't but at least I'm still here and still kicking.
I do not deserve to be ostracisized and treated as sub-human just because I'm obese. More than anything, I do not deserve to treat myself as sub-human because I'm obese.
I'm fat dammit! But I'm not hideous. I'm not a bad person.
I deserve to give myself a chance.
So why is that so hard to do?
But in the old Indian caste sense of the word. Like a leper.
I am untouchable.
Why? Because I'm obese.
I watched Law and Order: SVU last night and the plot focussed around perceptions of obese people as being disgusting and like the new lepers of society.
That's what I feel like most of the time.
But you know what? It doesn't do me any good to start dwelling on how disgusting I feel. All it does is reinforce how negatively I treat myself. So fuck it! I'm going to fight those feelings no matter how hard it is. Some days I'll win the battle, some days I won't but at least I'm still here and still kicking.
I do not deserve to be ostracisized and treated as sub-human just because I'm obese. More than anything, I do not deserve to treat myself as sub-human because I'm obese.
I'm fat dammit! But I'm not hideous. I'm not a bad person.
I deserve to give myself a chance.
So why is that so hard to do?
2 Comments
Note: Originally published May 3, 2006.
posted by Amanda at 7:13 PM
Damn right babe!
Your an awesome person! I aughta know!
And anyone who can't see that can FUCK OFF or come see me! I'll set them straight!
5:15 PM
You are beautiful, you are caring, you are sweet, you are hysterically funny, you are amazing, you are kind, you are looney, you have amazing eyes, you have the most gorgeous hair, you have a presence about you that makes people feel at ease, you are talented, you are creative, you are supportive, you are so special to so many people!!!!!!
You are not a bad person, you are not hideous, you are stronger than you think, and you DO deserve to give yourself a chance!!!!
I love you!!!!!!
4:37 PM